The 30 Day Honor Your Husband Challenge

My good friend, and fellow ministry wife, Alida let us all in on a fantastic 30 day challenge to practice honoring our husbands a little more consistently. It is being sponsored by Christine over at Fruit in Season, and is based on an article by Nancy Leigh DeMoss that you can access at her ministry website, Revive Our Hearts.

This challenge really resonates with me for several reasons.

One is that, when I am really honest, I have to admit that my darling Chris falls down my priority list quite often. Yes, the other things that crowd the top of the list might be worthwhile distractions (like Nathan's medical needs, or chasing Carissa) but they are never an adequate excuse for failing to obeying God's command in my life to bring honor to my husband-the highest priority behind God himself.

Secondly, this challenge fits well with the work that God has been doing in my life recently (please see my post on "Five for Friday, #5"). As He draws me closer through His word and through His presence, things I need to work out of my life are bubbling up to the surface more frequently-such as a lack of obedience or true agape love for others-giving me the opportunity to work them out with His help. Making the honor of my husband a regular practice and priority fits in with the self discipline I have been trying to practice lately.

Finally, as a pastor's wife, one of the things that frustrates me the most is when others dishonor Chris, either by being disrespectful or by failing to see the depth of his character and love for God. We pastor's wives often have to stand by, exercising patience and self-control, while people malign our husbands either publicly or behind his back, usually because they don't agree with a leadership decision he has made. And I am here to tell you that IT STINKS. In fact, that is my least favorite thing about being a pastor's wife. So I see this challenge as an opportunity to make up for others' dishonoring behavior, and to publicly give honor to the great man that I, the woman who sees his faults and weaknesses more than anyone, know him to be.

First, I should make some goals for honoring my husband this week. So, here are mine:
1. To complain to him less. (Most of the time I use Chris as my 'release valve' for all of my pent-up frustration over Nathan's disabilities or the myriad of annoying things that happen in my life. He SO does not deserve this!)
2. To make time for him-either to talk with him about his work, share ideas from some of the things he is reading, or do some things more regularly that he is usually interested in more than me. (I hope no explanation is needed on the last one!!)
3. To pray for him, with him, so that he hears me, every day.

I came across a poem yesterday by Ruth Bell Graham (I'm rereading them this week!) that captures how I feel about my wonderful husband. In order to kick things off by publicly bringing him honor, I am going to post it here.

"I met you years ago
of all the men
I knew,
I hero-worshipped
you are my husband now,
my husband!
and from my home
(your arms),
I turn to look
down the long trail of years
to where I met you first
and hero-worshipped,
and I would smile;
...I know you better now:
the faults,
the odd preferments,
the differences
that make you you.
That other me
-so young,
so far away-
saw you
and hero-worshipped
but never knew;
while I,
grown wiser
with the closeness of these years,
hero-worship, too!"

-Ruth Bell Graham

My darling heart, I love you more now than I could have ever dreamed possible in my dreamy, romantic, idealist young girl's heart that fell for your brooding strength and depth of soul all those years ago! In the interim of time, I have seen the best and worst in you, and you are still the most Godly, loving, supportive, wise, smart and handsome man I have ever known. Your strength holds me fast when my world rocks on it's axis and your friendship is the most beautiful treasure God has given me-even more precious to me than Nathan and Carissa's smiles (and you understand more than anyone how I treasure those!). It is the honor of my life to stand beside you, my very identity wrapped up in you ("she is the pastor's wife..."), given a front row seat for all that God is doing in you and through you during our brief years on this earth. Thank you for cleaning up the kitchen each time I cook, taking Carissa out to let me have quiet time, getting up to let the nurse in so I can sleep a little longer, being transparent about your struggles so that I can find healing for myself without shame, correcting my horrible spelling and feeding me each week as my pastor. I love you!


Chris McMillan said...

I suggest that we make this a 365-day Honor Your Husband Challenge! Can I get a witness?

joannmski said...

"So I see this challenge as an opportunity to make up for others' dishonoring behavior, and to publicly give honor to the great man that I, the woman who sees his faults and weaknesses more than anyone, know him to be."

So true. And this is a beautiful post. I think it is a very good thing, this honor your husband challenge!

Christine said...

What a beautiful post! I'm so glad you're joining the challenge. There is so much, as moms, that takes our attention away from our husbands. I'm encouraged to share this with all the women joining!

Melanie said...

I'm in on this challenge too.
Glad to see all who are joining.
You have some great goals!

blackpurl said...

Your post made me cry! Thank you so much for being an encouragement to all of us pastor's wives!



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